Ok, so this could be an utter waste of time as all websites are displayed in Chinese and I have no idea what the upload button looks like so I am typing this in the hope that one of the buttons I press when I'm finished, will magically make my mumbo jumbo appear online.

So yes, we arrived safely in China, just about still in one piece. Although I think I left half my liver behind in Hong Kong. After a short weekend diversion, Nuala and I managed to drink Hong Kong dry before Nuala vomitted her way over the border courtesy of Eastern Airlines on-board bathroom. Suffice to say culture wasn't high on the weekend agenda although we did make it out to the big fat buddha and Victoria Peak BEFORE we found tacky tourist central. The immortal line of the weekend has to go to the Nuala who uttered the immortal line to a barman... "Do you take Visa? In that case I'll have 5 cock sucking cowboys!" - Classic.

Hadn't touched a drop of vino since until I logged on to write this and ordered myself a gooseberry wine & coke. Could make for an interesting bike ride in the morning!!

So not too much to report just yet. China is big, full of Chinese people and pretty damned spectacular. On our first day in Kunming we went to the famous Bird & Flower market which just happened to be out of season and only had a hand ful of plastic carnations and the odd caged canary to offer. It did however have a hell of a lot of pet stalls. So there I was perusing the pet stalls when a goldfish dropped out of the sky and landed at my feet. On closer inspection said fish had in fact been lobbed out by an eagle-eyed shop keeper who spotted that one of his prize fish in the tank had died. With a lack of flushing loos I'm guessing the pavement is the next best thing!! So, later the same day I'm in a supermarket, at the fresh fish counter (which is so freash they're still alive!), relaying the funny flying fish story to Nuala when low and behold a little shrimp in the tank in front of us leaps out and lands on the floor by my feet. Obviously amused by the remarkable coincidence of the double fishy situation, we find Andy at the end of the fish row and as we laughingly tell him the double flying fish story, a big proper fish dives out of it's tank and makes a last bid for freedom by hitting me in the neck and breathing it's last on the supermarket floor!!!! I'm now officially quite scared by fish!

We're off for our first voyage on an overnight train tonight which I am now very relaxed about given the alternative! I thought I was a bit of a pro when it comes to mental drivers and manic roads. I've survived cab rides in Cairo, Lima, Nairobi and the North Circular on a Saturday afternoon but Kunming is in a league all of it's own. The drivers here are champion 'Chicken' players and have taken it to a whole new dimension. Today whilst travelling on a public bus, the driver decided to overtake the van in front of us on a hairpin bend. Ok not so scarey i hear you cry, however the on-coming vehicles were also playing the same game. The end result was a lorry and a bus going head to head with a van and a police car on a VERY narrow piece of raod. Just as certain death was looming and I was silently reciting the second stage of the Rosary, all four vehicles orchastrated what can only be described as a poetic ballet movement and all fell in to place in a fantastic feat of psychic manovering that even Paul McKenna couldn't have predicted. It was truely beautiful.

Assuming we make it to the train station in one piece I'll email again tomorrow (assuming I really have founf the upload button and I'm not in fact about to press DELETE!)

Fingers crossed - here goes.....
Vic xx